Slate's Television Critic is an Ignorant Ass

Sigh. I love Slate. Not only do I often read articles by Christopher Hitchens and William Saletan, but I have a special place in my heart for this article, which laments the fact that a fantastic sport in which skill triumphs over brute force is being killed by John Mccain and other morality cops.

Thankfully, those days are gone for, but MMA's new popularity has attracted the attention of ignorant douches like Troy Patterson, who wrote this review after watching one and only one episode of UFC Unleashed. I found this nonsense as I was reading about Terry Gilliam's movie Brazil, and saw the words "what kind of moron watches Ultimate Fighting?" in the side panel.

Mr. Patterson proceeds to portray UFC fans as a bunch of bloodthirsty hooligans who just want to see someone go out on a stretcher. While this actually is a somewhat accurate description of 75% of the fans at live events (if you add drunk and stupid), Mr. Patterson might consider watching an actual event before making some of his startlingly wrong conclusions.

The article covers three fights: Arlovski VS Cabbage, Arlovski VS Buentello, and Shamrock VS Ortiz 1. On this basis, Patterson concludes that 1) no fights go to decision (may I suggest he watch UFC 33? And did he not realize that Unleashed is a BEST OF and fights that go to decision aren't as exciting, and more importantly, too long?), 2) All UFC fights are mismatches, especially when one guy is jacked and the other kind of dumpy (I refer Patterson to the undisputed #1 fighter in the world, Fedor Emelianenko, and to the reigning UFC champ, Tim Sylvia, who still has a saggy stomach), and 3) the paramedics see more action than the ring judges. If I remember correctly all three of these fights ended with the loser exiting the ring under their own power, with any paramedic checks purely a formality for the safety of the fighters.

I realize writers have deadlines to meet, but if Mr. Patterson isn't going to actually learn anything about the UFC (by say, going on the FUCKING INTERNET), he should kindly refrain from focusing his diarrhea of the mouth on it.